Haven't done much writing since princess made her debut. I'm going to try to change that. I need an outlet and I'm hoping blogging will provide that. I will warn you, it won't be all candy bars and milkshakes however. My life as a Mom is pretty crazy some days! Crazy enough to make me question if it's the job I am cut out for at least once a week!
Princess is on the move:
As most of you know by keeping up with us on FB. She has never been the "baby" I wanted. We knew going into this pregnancy it would be our last, and with all the ups and downs we faced in those 10 months, it solidified that. So I had envisioned this sweet baby girl who would be cuddly and I would be able to dress up and tote around like a baby doll. Well I guess somewhere in the shuffle my memo to her got lost. She has been feisty, on the go and very determined since day 1! At 8 weeks she rolled, 4 months- sat up, 6 months and some change started pulling herself around and pulling up on everything. And now after getting tubes put in yesterday- she has been on her knees crawling, trying to climb the couches and stairs, and is into everything! She is quite the eater and has never been a fan of baby food! What more can I say? She was born thinking she was at least two or something! She is something else and I adore and love her so much!
Strange boy has a cleaning obsession:
He asked for nothing but a mop and spray bottle for Christmas. He talks about cleaning non stop. He often carries around some sort of cleaning supply whether it be a spray bottle, mop, vacuum, duster or what have you and cleans the house. His cleaning isn't quite up to my standards so I get to clean everywhere he cleaned after him. Cleaning aside, he is the sweetest, smartest most polite and empathetic, quirky and hard headed three year old I have ever met! He compliments adults, often only to get a compliment for himself. He is so very observant even when u don't think e is its scary! And he remembers absolutely everything!!! I love him dearly and wouldn't change him for any reason! Even if he does make me shake my head in exasperation more than once an hour!
I feel like God knows me and gives me what He knows I need on a daily basis:
I have struggled with post partum depression/ anxiety and exhaustion! I have not been my happy go lucky self and on many occasions I have been out right someone I hardly recognize. But though it all I find so many instances where I am overwhelmed and ready to go hide under the cover and cry and it seems like I get a message. Whether it be in the form of my kids doing something to make me laugh, a text or phone call from a friend, nursing my daughter, or just a sense I get that tells me everything will be ok. I am on medication to help my moods as well and finding the right dose is becoming a struggle. I can't be comatose with no feelings, energy or initiative. But I also can't be flying off the handle, and ruining relationships. I know prayers will help.
Turning 28:
Yikes, 28. That's a big number and for some reason to me sounds way more. Than a year older than 27! I think it has more to go with me knowing our family is complete, our marriage is secure, owning a home, etc. all the grown up things make me feel like I know what direction my life is heading in and now what? Do I go back to school? Do I keep kids again? Find a job? Get baptized and volunteer at church? In some ways I feel like I have it all figured out and then on the other hand I have so much more figuring to do... Oh 28, I know you will be good to me no matter what. I'm ready for whatever you have in store for me this year God!
Parenting in general:
I feel like parenting was something I was born to do. It's always been my dream to be a mommy. I babysat, mothered my brothers, worked in day cares and took all the child development classes I could and yet I'm clueless! Parenting has been full of "I wasn't gonna's" for me. I wasn't gonna's and self disappointment.
I wasn't gonna yell. And yet I do daily. Even though before I dreamed of mothering my own children, I was trained in positive discipline, read all he parenting books and was sure I had it together. Well guess what? Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I lose my patience and yell. And then I feel bad and apologize and pray about it. I wasn't gonna spank goes along with this one. And yet sometimes there are times I don't know what else to do. I plan to improve myself greatly in this area as my sons behavior in particular isn't responding well to my tactics. Please feel free to give me advice on this one!
I wasn't gonna be the parent who "gave in". There are times I just have to pick and choose my battles though. You don't wanna wear pants while we're at home? Ok fine! You don't really NEED to. We sure don't NEED to spend a half hour fighting about it. You want a sandwich for breakfast? Why not? It's a perfectly healthy lunch, why not breakfast? You want to play outside in the mud? Why not? What's being a kid about anyway? Does it make more mess for me to clean up in the long run? Yes! But would I rather clean it up then spend a life time telling him NO!? Yes I would. I lived to play in the mud as a child. Go for it baby boy!
I wasn't gonna let my kids sleep in our bed. This was a big no no for me and I'm not even sure where or how we went so wrong but of princess isn't in our bed, she's in one of our arms on the couch. Hopefully tubes will make her a better sleeper and we can work on this one!!!
I wasn't gonna be a Mom who needed a break from her kids. I never understood this. Are there days I thrust my kids at my husband when he walks through the door and promptly retreat into a FB coma? Yep there sure are. Has there been an instance or two en I couldn't handle it anymore and went to dinner or grocery shopping alone? Yep there has been! I have learned though that time away is a healthy need. I also need work in this area as my trust with others in leaving my kids and the guilt I feel has been overwhelming and led to anxiety attacks.
I wasn't gonna give my kids pop, candy, sugary cereals etc. I have learned the more you with hold it the more they crave it. So we give it to them in moderation. Ok, so the moderation has been a little over the top lately. Need work here!
I wasn't gonna get behind on scrap books, baby calendars and keeping memories for my kiddos in general. I suck at this and my return to blogging will hopefully help somewhat in this area.
That ran long. Will be catching up again soon!
