Day of Disappointment

I hesitate to even write this post after our lecturer's speech on Jonah today but as you know I use this blog as a journal so I am going to go with it anyway.

I HATE HATE HATE to prepare and prepare for the day ahead and then have it all go to crap. (excuse my language- Yes Graham CRAP is a bad word.)

We implemented a little system where we prepare Graham for the day ahead the night before. It helps with getting his "engine running" in the morning when he knows what to expect for the day. Before this little trick we had many meltdowns (both kid and Mommy) and it was hard to ever get him out the door for anything. And this has worked for us for almost a year now.

Knowing we need to give this heads up, I try to plan ahead (at least a day) to minimize stress on the both of us (and now Bella and daddy too).

So when I prepare bags, clothes, the car, etc all in advance only to have it snowball into a dreadful day- I get a little upset. Ok, more than a little upset. I am starting to take it personally. Now I know sickness can't be helped. But a lack of caring that it takes a lot of planning to get two kiddos out for the day irritates me. And not to mention the DISAPPOINTMENT when I tell him the day isn't going to go as planned.

I know kids need to have disappointment to learn and grow. But if I could shield them from it I would because I can't stand the look in his eye and the sadness on his face or the real tears sliding down his cheeks. It breaks this momma's heart. And he doesn't forget. And it's my fault. And then I end up offering ice cream and playing at the park and extra cartoons to make him happy. And sometimes I am so agitated I lose my patience with him and it's not his fault. I just wish there were a way to prevent this from happening and still be able to prepare him the way he needs us to.

I'm over reacting in a way today. But I know that it's because it's not the first time he has been disappointed lately.

And that's my rant for the day folks.

go with the flow...

We've been wanting to potty train G since, well.. since he was born. LOL! But recently he has seemed more "ready" than ever! And although if I had it MY WAY I would wait until after our week long vacation to start trying, he seems to think NOW is the time. SOOO I'm happy to report that he has made all pee pees in the potty today! {insert HAPPY DANCE here}
We are really proud and his teeth will probably rot out from the candy and ice cream rewards.

Simply simple

I've been trying to eliminate some stress and anxiety in my life by slowing down to take in the simple things...

Simple things make me happy. Simple things like

Baby sighs
and baby thighs

Story times with G and being silly to see how hard I can make him giggle

Letting the kids be kids by playing in mud puddles and getting filthy in the sand box filled with rain water

Spontaneous Picnics in the park

Watching my husband be the best daddy ever

rocking baby
singing lullabys to baby

playing cards with Wy-diggity

chatting on the phone without looking at the time

walks with family or friends

drives in the country to see the corn being harvested and the trees starting to change

sitting in the sunshine

pumpkin spice lattes



It's amazing what can put a smile on your face when you turn off the tv, put down the cell phones and take it all in. I'm sure there's so many more I can come up with. But for now I'm going to sign off and take in more of life's simple things. And thank God I can slow down to appreciate them today.

Random Ramblings on this Drizzly Dreary Day

I'm impressed and not impressed, all at the same time, at Graham's new ability to open the fridge and retrieve anything he likes at any time.

We're working on removing clothing and putting on clothing for potty training... It may be awhile.

BellaRose is 3 months old! Where did the time go? She thinks she can sit up. She does these little crunches in her swing that make me giggle. She HAS to be held and patted and bounced and rocked just right to be put to sleep. She likes blowdryer and vacuum noise to calm her. She is truly a little princess. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

Fall seems to be here! Highs in the low 70's, drizzly dreary days, dark mornings- windows down, blankie,hoodie and jean weather, I LOVE IT!

I'm LOVE LOVE LOVING this new all natural online store- Meleleuca! My house, body, laundry etc all looks and smells amazing and is soft and clean all without having toxic chemicals in the house!

Balancing bills on a now weekly paycheck instead of the the twice a month one is a CHALLENGE! I'm about to turn this chore over to the hubs. I know I need to crack the whip on the spending but man it's tough!

Graham has a MOUTH on him. I don't know why I expected him to be a sweet, quiet, polite, kind, and innocent little guy for all his life----Look at his uncles!!!

We leave on vacation in Gulf Shores and the count down is 11 days and I'm crapping my pants with stress over packing, and driving and living in a house with family all week! Let's hope the sand, sun and waves can calm this anxious momma.

Did I mention we have another trip planned for January to Florida for a wedding on Graham's birthday??

We started Kindermusik last week and MOM2MOM this week. Super excited for time out with other mom's but a tad nervous about leaving princess with strangers in the nursery for 2 hrs a week (at MOM2MOM)! yikes!

I get my ring back this week!!! Remember that horrible saga where I thought (like a BIG DUMMY) it fit again and had to have it sawed into pieces so I didn't lose my finger when it didn't? Yea, its going to set us back $335 bucks... Oh well. I think I learned my lesson.


Lana told me today she has friends who live at school. :) She seems to be loving preschool and it still makes me sad to see her come home with her little bag.

I've started seeing a new chiropractor and a therapist. A chiro for back and neck pain (alot of which is caused by stress and being a mommy) and a therpist for anxiety and OCD behaviors (though those have been less and less lately). The multiple appointments and arranging child care and running (& affording gas) back and forth to Bloomington has me more stressed out and anxious and in pain (back and bank account) than I was before I decided this all was a good idea.

We got rid of the smart phones and I can see the need for them now. This one I have now is really really DUMB but I have to say my anxiety level is a little lower and I'm more laid back not having all the gizmo's and gadgets and whatnots on my phone. I've lost it a few times and not even freaked out. and I'm always leaving it in the car now to run inside somewhere. IT's actually kind of nice.

Graham says we live in a castle on 6th street. His mommy is the queen, his daddy the king, his sister the princess and he's the prince (sometimes he's a princess too depending on the day) last night, he told his aunt MaryBeth she was the BEAST! bahahahaha!!!

OK OK OK! I need to go do something productive like clean up lunch before the 3 sleeping beauty's wake up!

playing catch up

As I rocked my sick little baby girl in my arms and held one hand over her face to the noise of the blow dryer today, it hit me how incredibly blessed I am. I love little moments when God taps on my shoulder and says "isn't this the best?".

We've been working on bed, and meal time prayers with Graham. It is my absolute favorite time of day with him right now. At bed time we read a few books while laying in bed and then say our prayers. I've always told him at night that I thank God for him every day so now we thank God together for the important things in our life. He comes up with some two year old things like "tractor shows and parks and corn festival" to thank Him for and I love that sweet sweet innocence. :)

BellaRose is growing growing growing! They BOTH are. Graham is in 4 and 5T clothes and BellaRose in 6 months! ARGH! Make them stop!I am so grateful for my healthy little (big) boogers.

We got rid of our "smart" phones this week and the internet with it, we replaced it with really really dumb ones. LOL!! BUT----- It's going to save us 75 bucks a month. I am more relaxed already with it gone. How weird is that? I was entirely too tied to my phone and several times now I have not known where it was for hours and not even freaked out!

This week starts our full fall schedule. Monday- home or errands and appts Tues- Kindermusik, Wednesday- Mom's group at church, Thursday- 1st and 3rd playdate at Methodist church and Friday- chillax day! I tend to do better with a schedule so I am excited about this. The mom's group on Wednesday's is new to me and I'm a tad nervous/anxious about leaving my BR in "daycare (lamb2lamb)but mom time will be ok.

This fall weather is amazing! always makes me feel so refreshed and alive! CAn't wait for pumpkin patches and leaves turning and bonfires and halloween!

Love to all! I am going to try to update this more often for sure!