Day of Disappointment

I hesitate to even write this post after our lecturer's speech on Jonah today but as you know I use this blog as a journal so I am going to go with it anyway.

I HATE HATE HATE to prepare and prepare for the day ahead and then have it all go to crap. (excuse my language- Yes Graham CRAP is a bad word.)

We implemented a little system where we prepare Graham for the day ahead the night before. It helps with getting his "engine running" in the morning when he knows what to expect for the day. Before this little trick we had many meltdowns (both kid and Mommy) and it was hard to ever get him out the door for anything. And this has worked for us for almost a year now.

Knowing we need to give this heads up, I try to plan ahead (at least a day) to minimize stress on the both of us (and now Bella and daddy too).

So when I prepare bags, clothes, the car, etc all in advance only to have it snowball into a dreadful day- I get a little upset. Ok, more than a little upset. I am starting to take it personally. Now I know sickness can't be helped. But a lack of caring that it takes a lot of planning to get two kiddos out for the day irritates me. And not to mention the DISAPPOINTMENT when I tell him the day isn't going to go as planned.

I know kids need to have disappointment to learn and grow. But if I could shield them from it I would because I can't stand the look in his eye and the sadness on his face or the real tears sliding down his cheeks. It breaks this momma's heart. And he doesn't forget. And it's my fault. And then I end up offering ice cream and playing at the park and extra cartoons to make him happy. And sometimes I am so agitated I lose my patience with him and it's not his fault. I just wish there were a way to prevent this from happening and still be able to prepare him the way he needs us to.

I'm over reacting in a way today. But I know that it's because it's not the first time he has been disappointed lately.

And that's my rant for the day folks.