Gates & NO!

Oh this darling girl. This darling on the go, make my Momma crazy cause I don't stop all day girl! God has something special in store for her, I just know it!
We have had to gate the stairs for good now... Luckily G can climb over it to go potty. We also have a gate in front of the TV set up as she likes to push buttons, open things and cruise around it falling down bumping her head. We will also be gating off the kitchen soon as she can get into EvERything out there and we can't baby proof it all!
I've been trying to start teaching her No and she is trying to teach me more patience and perseverance... For when I say NO she smiles, giggles and goes after it again. :)

Pray for me folks! She's a wild one with an Angels face.

Cutting back on spending and social media

After the sermon on Sunday, Martin and I decided to make a few changes in our lives.
1. I want to give up Facebook for a whole month to enable myself to be a better mother and wife. I will continue to share on here when I see fit and will be reachable via home phone 309-564-1045 or text 309-433-6101 or email brrr1984@yahoo.com
Keep in touch with me guys! I wanna make this work!

2. We want to go a whole week with no buying ANYTHING! No gas, no groceries, no cigarettes (Martin), no Starbucks (Brenda).

3. No trips to local grocery store where prices are sometimes double what they are in Bloomington. We will pick up necessities on Sundays after church.

4. No fast food for a month. We will eat out once a week following church.

5. We will GIVE like Jesus gave. I plan to go through the house and rid ourselves of "things".

This will allow us to live more like Jesus lived. To give more. To BE more!

I challenge you all to pick one of these numbers and give it a try in your lives! :)

Stay tuned for a kiddo update!

Long time no see.

Haven't done much writing since princess made her debut. I'm going to try to change that. I need an outlet and I'm hoping blogging will provide that. I will warn you, it won't be all candy bars and milkshakes however. My life as a Mom is pretty crazy some days! Crazy enough to make me question if it's the job I am cut out for at least once a week!

Princess is on the move:

As most of you know by keeping up with us on FB. She has never been the "baby" I wanted. We knew going into this pregnancy it would be our last, and with all the ups and downs we faced in those 10 months, it solidified that. So I had envisioned this sweet baby girl who would be cuddly and I would be able to dress up and tote around like a baby doll. Well I guess somewhere in the shuffle my memo to her got lost. She has been feisty, on the go and very determined since day 1! At 8 weeks she rolled, 4 months- sat up, 6 months and some change started pulling herself around and pulling up on everything. And now after getting tubes put in yesterday- she has been on her knees crawling, trying to climb the couches and stairs, and is into everything! She is quite the eater and has never been a fan of baby food! What more can I say? She was born thinking she was at least two or something! She is something else and I adore and love her so much!

Strange boy has a cleaning obsession:
He asked for nothing but a mop and spray bottle for Christmas. He talks about cleaning non stop. He often carries around some sort of cleaning supply whether it be a spray bottle, mop, vacuum, duster or what have you and cleans the house. His cleaning isn't quite up to my standards so I get to clean everywhere he cleaned after him. Cleaning aside, he is the sweetest, smartest most polite and empathetic, quirky and hard headed three year old I have ever met! He compliments adults, often only to get a compliment for himself. He is so very observant even when u don't think e is its scary! And he remembers absolutely everything!!! I love him dearly and wouldn't change him for any reason! Even if he does make me shake my head in exasperation more than once an hour!

I feel like God knows me and gives me what He knows I need on a daily basis:
I have struggled with post partum depression/ anxiety and exhaustion! I have not been my happy go lucky self and on many occasions I have been out right someone I hardly recognize. But though it all I find so many instances where I am overwhelmed and ready to go hide under the cover and cry and it seems like I get a message. Whether it be in the form of my kids doing something to make me laugh, a text or phone call from a friend, nursing my daughter, or just a sense I get that tells me everything will be ok. I am on medication to help my moods as well and finding the right dose is becoming a struggle. I can't be comatose with no feelings, energy or initiative. But I also can't be flying off the handle, and ruining relationships. I know prayers will help.

Turning 28:

Yikes, 28. That's a big number and for some reason to me sounds way more. Than a year older than 27! I think it has more to go with me knowing our family is complete, our marriage is secure, owning a home, etc. all the grown up things make me feel like I know what direction my life is heading in and now what? Do I go back to school? Do I keep kids again? Find a job? Get baptized and volunteer at church? In some ways I feel like I have it all figured out and then on the other hand I have so much more figuring to do... Oh 28, I know you will be good to me no matter what. I'm ready for whatever you have in store for me this year God!

Parenting in general:
I feel like parenting was something I was born to do. It's always been my dream to be a mommy. I babysat, mothered my brothers, worked in day cares and took all the child development classes I could and yet I'm clueless! Parenting has been full of "I wasn't gonna's" for me. I wasn't gonna's and self disappointment.

I wasn't gonna yell. And yet I do daily. Even though before I dreamed of mothering my own children, I was trained in positive discipline, read all he parenting books and was sure I had it together. Well guess what? Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I lose my patience and yell. And then I feel bad and apologize and pray about it. I wasn't gonna spank goes along with this one. And yet sometimes there are times I don't know what else to do. I plan to improve myself greatly in this area as my sons behavior in particular isn't responding well to my tactics. Please feel free to give me advice on this one!

I wasn't gonna be the parent who "gave in". There are times I just have to pick and choose my battles though. You don't wanna wear pants while we're at home? Ok fine! You don't really NEED to. We sure don't NEED to spend a half hour fighting about it. You want a sandwich for breakfast? Why not? It's a perfectly healthy lunch, why not breakfast? You want to play outside in the mud? Why not? What's being a kid about anyway? Does it make more mess for me to clean up in the long run? Yes! But would I rather clean it up then spend a life time telling him NO!? Yes I would. I lived to play in the mud as a child. Go for it baby boy!

I wasn't gonna let my kids sleep in our bed. This was a big no no for me and I'm not even sure where or how we went so wrong but of princess isn't in our bed, she's in one of our arms on the couch. Hopefully tubes will make her a better sleeper and we can work on this one!!!

I wasn't gonna be a Mom who needed a break from her kids. I never understood this. Are there days I thrust my kids at my husband when he walks through the door and promptly retreat into a FB coma? Yep there sure are. Has there been an instance or two en I couldn't handle it anymore and went to dinner or grocery shopping alone? Yep there has been! I have learned though that time away is a healthy need. I also need work in this area as my trust with others in leaving my kids and the guilt I feel has been overwhelming and led to anxiety attacks.

I wasn't gonna give my kids pop, candy, sugary cereals etc. I have learned the more you with hold it the more they crave it. So we give it to them in moderation. Ok, so the moderation has been a little over the top lately. Need work here!

I wasn't gonna get behind on scrap books, baby calendars and keeping memories for my kiddos in general. I suck at this and my return to blogging will hopefully help somewhat in this area.

That ran long. Will be catching up again soon!

Day of Disappointment

I hesitate to even write this post after our lecturer's speech on Jonah today but as you know I use this blog as a journal so I am going to go with it anyway.

I HATE HATE HATE to prepare and prepare for the day ahead and then have it all go to crap. (excuse my language- Yes Graham CRAP is a bad word.)

We implemented a little system where we prepare Graham for the day ahead the night before. It helps with getting his "engine running" in the morning when he knows what to expect for the day. Before this little trick we had many meltdowns (both kid and Mommy) and it was hard to ever get him out the door for anything. And this has worked for us for almost a year now.

Knowing we need to give this heads up, I try to plan ahead (at least a day) to minimize stress on the both of us (and now Bella and daddy too).

So when I prepare bags, clothes, the car, etc all in advance only to have it snowball into a dreadful day- I get a little upset. Ok, more than a little upset. I am starting to take it personally. Now I know sickness can't be helped. But a lack of caring that it takes a lot of planning to get two kiddos out for the day irritates me. And not to mention the DISAPPOINTMENT when I tell him the day isn't going to go as planned.

I know kids need to have disappointment to learn and grow. But if I could shield them from it I would because I can't stand the look in his eye and the sadness on his face or the real tears sliding down his cheeks. It breaks this momma's heart. And he doesn't forget. And it's my fault. And then I end up offering ice cream and playing at the park and extra cartoons to make him happy. And sometimes I am so agitated I lose my patience with him and it's not his fault. I just wish there were a way to prevent this from happening and still be able to prepare him the way he needs us to.

I'm over reacting in a way today. But I know that it's because it's not the first time he has been disappointed lately.

And that's my rant for the day folks.

go with the flow...

We've been wanting to potty train G since, well.. since he was born. LOL! But recently he has seemed more "ready" than ever! And although if I had it MY WAY I would wait until after our week long vacation to start trying, he seems to think NOW is the time. SOOO I'm happy to report that he has made all pee pees in the potty today! {insert HAPPY DANCE here}
We are really proud and his teeth will probably rot out from the candy and ice cream rewards.

Simply simple

I've been trying to eliminate some stress and anxiety in my life by slowing down to take in the simple things...

Simple things make me happy. Simple things like

Baby sighs
and baby thighs

Story times with G and being silly to see how hard I can make him giggle

Letting the kids be kids by playing in mud puddles and getting filthy in the sand box filled with rain water

Spontaneous Picnics in the park

Watching my husband be the best daddy ever

rocking baby
singing lullabys to baby

playing cards with Wy-diggity

chatting on the phone without looking at the time

walks with family or friends

drives in the country to see the corn being harvested and the trees starting to change

sitting in the sunshine

pumpkin spice lattes



It's amazing what can put a smile on your face when you turn off the tv, put down the cell phones and take it all in. I'm sure there's so many more I can come up with. But for now I'm going to sign off and take in more of life's simple things. And thank God I can slow down to appreciate them today.

Random Ramblings on this Drizzly Dreary Day

I'm impressed and not impressed, all at the same time, at Graham's new ability to open the fridge and retrieve anything he likes at any time.

We're working on removing clothing and putting on clothing for potty training... It may be awhile.

BellaRose is 3 months old! Where did the time go? She thinks she can sit up. She does these little crunches in her swing that make me giggle. She HAS to be held and patted and bounced and rocked just right to be put to sleep. She likes blowdryer and vacuum noise to calm her. She is truly a little princess. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

Fall seems to be here! Highs in the low 70's, drizzly dreary days, dark mornings- windows down, blankie,hoodie and jean weather, I LOVE IT!

I'm LOVE LOVE LOVING this new all natural online store- Meleleuca! My house, body, laundry etc all looks and smells amazing and is soft and clean all without having toxic chemicals in the house!

Balancing bills on a now weekly paycheck instead of the the twice a month one is a CHALLENGE! I'm about to turn this chore over to the hubs. I know I need to crack the whip on the spending but man it's tough!

Graham has a MOUTH on him. I don't know why I expected him to be a sweet, quiet, polite, kind, and innocent little guy for all his life----Look at his uncles!!!

We leave on vacation in Gulf Shores and the count down is 11 days and I'm crapping my pants with stress over packing, and driving and living in a house with family all week! Let's hope the sand, sun and waves can calm this anxious momma.

Did I mention we have another trip planned for January to Florida for a wedding on Graham's birthday??

We started Kindermusik last week and MOM2MOM this week. Super excited for time out with other mom's but a tad nervous about leaving princess with strangers in the nursery for 2 hrs a week (at MOM2MOM)! yikes!

I get my ring back this week!!! Remember that horrible saga where I thought (like a BIG DUMMY) it fit again and had to have it sawed into pieces so I didn't lose my finger when it didn't? Yea, its going to set us back $335 bucks... Oh well. I think I learned my lesson.


Lana told me today she has friends who live at school. :) She seems to be loving preschool and it still makes me sad to see her come home with her little bag.

I've started seeing a new chiropractor and a therapist. A chiro for back and neck pain (alot of which is caused by stress and being a mommy) and a therpist for anxiety and OCD behaviors (though those have been less and less lately). The multiple appointments and arranging child care and running (& affording gas) back and forth to Bloomington has me more stressed out and anxious and in pain (back and bank account) than I was before I decided this all was a good idea.

We got rid of the smart phones and I can see the need for them now. This one I have now is really really DUMB but I have to say my anxiety level is a little lower and I'm more laid back not having all the gizmo's and gadgets and whatnots on my phone. I've lost it a few times and not even freaked out. and I'm always leaving it in the car now to run inside somewhere. IT's actually kind of nice.

Graham says we live in a castle on 6th street. His mommy is the queen, his daddy the king, his sister the princess and he's the prince (sometimes he's a princess too depending on the day) last night, he told his aunt MaryBeth she was the BEAST! bahahahaha!!!

OK OK OK! I need to go do something productive like clean up lunch before the 3 sleeping beauty's wake up!